But, alas! Here I am today, standing in my kitchen, watching in admiration and a little bit of horror as Farmer Ben instructs me in the ways of gourmet chicken liver. I trade him one for one with my favorite lettuce soup recipe – made extra delicious with the fresh greens we harvested from our greenhouse only days ago. The adventure has been well worth the ride.
If God had told me five years ago, “I want you to be a farmer,” I would have said, “Are you serious, God? I mean... okay, but... really? I don't think you got that right... maybe you meant to talk to the girl praying next door... I'll call again tomorrow.”
Perhaps God knew this about me, because five years ago God did not tell me, “I want you to be a farmer.” Instead God called out to me in small decisions daily, urging me to walk with him, though I did not always understand. He led my heart slowly, gently, even playfully toward each next stop on my path. Some days his calls were grand: calls to mission trips or internships or relationships. Some days his calls were but a whisper: walk the long way to class, finish this book, wake up early tomorrow and be with me.
And I began to find that every time I ignored God's call, large or small, the trail seemed to disappear and I was left spinning, searching all around, wondering, “Where?? Where do you want me to go God?” But the days when I could find the strength within me to instead say, “Yes,” - oh, those were the best days. It was not as though the trail suddenly appeared, but rather that I closed my eyes and held out my hand and God said, “Here. Here is the way, my love.”
So here I sit, a daughter of Cleveland suburbia, newlywed and trying to make my way as a Maryland farmer and educator, wondering what surprises God has in store for my next five years.
But this I know: today I felt the whisper. An urge to tell you all that vocation is not a “YES!” yelled from the rooftops, but an embrace within the heart. Resist the luring temptation to strain your neck, squinting, searching for the trail. Try if you can to close your eyes and reach out your hand and wait for your Maker to whisper to you. Trust the desires he has placed in your heart and he will fill your cup.