“I recently became Catholic and it was easy,” said no one ever.
To say the least, I have had quite the unexpected year that started with a conversation with a Catholic guy that grew into a full exploration of the Catholic faith and lead me to become a fully confirmed Catholic. And it feels like God punched me in the face (lovingly) and I am still reeling from the blow.
Sometimes I still think to myself “Wow, wait… Did I really do that?” I’m not exactly the type of person to make a huge stink about every opinion and belief I have- make no mistake, I stand proudly for Truth and Truth alone- but how did I end up making the decision to become part of the type of Christianity that makes the boldest and most controversial statements on just about every thinkable issue? Well, like I said, it all started with a conversation with a Catholic guy.
For most of my life, I have viewed Catholicism as the quirky superstitious Christianity- that as long as Catholics believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and is “the way, the truth and the life,” they’re cool, but you just shouldn’t ask them too much about those weird crackers they think are God, the Pope who they think is almost God, Mary who they think is the female God, and the saints who they think are other cute little gods.
So when Andrew (my now boyfriend) started talking to me a year ago about my faith as a non-denominational Christian and we found that we actually agreed on a lot of points of Christianity, I thought that maybe there was something more to Catholicism. We kept coming back to interesting and deep discussions on many different topics and I wanted to know more about this side to Catholicism I never knew of.
I shared with him my questions and convictions of Christianity. He told me once “Wow, you sound like a Catholic.” I was a little taken aback by this because the whole time we had been talking I was thinking Wow, you don’t sound like a Catholic. He invited me to go to Mass with him, which I attended out of curiosity and expected nothing but an interesting cultural experience. The building was incredible but the mass itself was quite confusing and foreign to me and I was honestly more drawn to only discussing Catholic beliefs and attending a church with a style I was more accustomed to instead. We started dating and I began to grow deeper in understanding Catholic beliefs.
I began to attending mass at Annunciation Parish in the fall and even signed up for RCIA at St. Gertrude Parish to explore more. A few months later, I attended adoration with Andrew and a few friends at a parish I had never been to. I was amazed at the sheer beauty of the place adorned with dazzling stained glass from far above me that shone down on the flowing curves of the architecture, immaculate paintings, candles, icons, symbols, sculptures… etc. It was overwhelming and seemed to never end.
To say the least, I have had quite the unexpected year that started with a conversation with a Catholic guy that grew into a full exploration of the Catholic faith and lead me to become a fully confirmed Catholic. And it feels like God punched me in the face (lovingly) and I am still reeling from the blow.
Sometimes I still think to myself “Wow, wait… Did I really do that?” I’m not exactly the type of person to make a huge stink about every opinion and belief I have- make no mistake, I stand proudly for Truth and Truth alone- but how did I end up making the decision to become part of the type of Christianity that makes the boldest and most controversial statements on just about every thinkable issue? Well, like I said, it all started with a conversation with a Catholic guy.
For most of my life, I have viewed Catholicism as the quirky superstitious Christianity- that as long as Catholics believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and is “the way, the truth and the life,” they’re cool, but you just shouldn’t ask them too much about those weird crackers they think are God, the Pope who they think is almost God, Mary who they think is the female God, and the saints who they think are other cute little gods.
So when Andrew (my now boyfriend) started talking to me a year ago about my faith as a non-denominational Christian and we found that we actually agreed on a lot of points of Christianity, I thought that maybe there was something more to Catholicism. We kept coming back to interesting and deep discussions on many different topics and I wanted to know more about this side to Catholicism I never knew of.
I shared with him my questions and convictions of Christianity. He told me once “Wow, you sound like a Catholic.” I was a little taken aback by this because the whole time we had been talking I was thinking Wow, you don’t sound like a Catholic. He invited me to go to Mass with him, which I attended out of curiosity and expected nothing but an interesting cultural experience. The building was incredible but the mass itself was quite confusing and foreign to me and I was honestly more drawn to only discussing Catholic beliefs and attending a church with a style I was more accustomed to instead. We started dating and I began to grow deeper in understanding Catholic beliefs.
I began to attending mass at Annunciation Parish in the fall and even signed up for RCIA at St. Gertrude Parish to explore more. A few months later, I attended adoration with Andrew and a few friends at a parish I had never been to. I was amazed at the sheer beauty of the place adorned with dazzling stained glass from far above me that shone down on the flowing curves of the architecture, immaculate paintings, candles, icons, symbols, sculptures… etc. It was overwhelming and seemed to never end.
Annunciation, my home parish
As I wandered in awe about the church, I came across a sculpture of St. Therese “The Little Flower” and read a small plaque that told the story of her “little way” and included her novena. I was interested but skeptical of what it all meant. There was something attractive yet overwhelming about the complexity of the Catholic Church including the incredible art and architecture, the colossal number of people who were part of the Catholic Church, the history it clung so closely to, the millions of books and documents on Catholic doctrine, the magisterium, the militant attitude that follows Catholics, and even the smell of a Catholic church. And yet in the midst of it there was this story of a young woman whose little deeds done with great love changed the world. I felt connected to her and wanted whatever it was that made her so special, but was skeptical of this little poem that was supposed to grant me some request by a dead person. Andrew encouraged me to give the little prayer a shot, so after some time I decided to just try. I prayed with an earnest heart and said to St. Therese, “You know, I really don’t know about all this Catholic stuff, but if I really am supposed to be here and learning this stuff and it’s convenient for you… I don’t really want anything for myself, but it would be nice if I could get a sign of some sort.” I forgot about it for the next eight days and was very doubtful that I would actually get anything, but on the ninth day I received exactly what I had ordered: coming home from classes, I found a box of a dozen roses on my front porch addressed to my roommate with a note that said “God bless you. Praying for you. Always and forever. Have a good day!” It took me a few minutes to put everything together, but when it hit me, it rocked my world. I realized that in Catholicism, saints are not meant to be little gods that magically grant wishes for fun. Rather, as St. Therese did for me, saints give us exactly what we need at exactly the right time that points us directly to God. This couldn’t have been a coincidence. This was something real. It wasn’t that St. Therese put the roses into existence just the way I wanted them for funsies- I know where they actually came from and why they were addressed to my roommate on that day. But it wasn’t a coincidence that I had been compelled nine days earlier to complete this novena at a time that I was seriously searching for truth in Catholicism and needed a straight answer from God to tell me whether or not I was doing this right. This was something God wanted for me and allowed for St. Therese to be a friend and give me something to better understand Him. I understood that the role of saints (including Mary) is not to be gods to glorify themselves, but their purpose is to point people to the one and only God.
My flowers from St. Thérèse
Her lovely note to me
Around this same time, I was introduced to the Catechism. It amazed me I had never known that there was a book like this. I remember that when I was going through a difficult time in my faith in high school, I wrote down every question that I had that related to religion that ranged from questions about evolution, to demonic possession, to cultural relativism, to sexuality. I had many thoughts and ideas about these many different things, but had no idea where to start to get my answers. I thought that there should be some great big book that explains everything about religion. Since I had never heard of such a thing, I decided I would be the honored one to write it. I titled it “Principles of Religion.” The first and only line I completed was something along the lines of “there must be only one truth.” I was then immediately overwhelmed by the vastness of my task and gave up. Of course there are many different books that address any topic imaginable- a plethora of them being Christian views- but no one book that started logically from the beginning of everything imaginable about God and addressed every pressing issue and how it follows that one take a certain action in response. This was something that one could logically argue. The Catechism was literally written to fulfill this need: to give the logical explanation for everything Catholicism stands for and to give the basic Catholic stance on many current and pressing issues.
I began asking even more questions that further challenged Catholicism, trusting that God was leading me towards something important. And I cannot deny that with nearly every question or issue I had with Catholicism, within about a week I would hear some kind of explanation that struck me in either a homily at mass, at RCIA, or in a discussion with friends. But it never stopped. It still happens to this day and cannot be a coincidence.This was something God wanted me to know about.
The most profound example of this was in the winter when I had been frustrated with and seriously struggling with a lot of Catholicism and was feeling very alone in my circumstances and beliefs. I had just completed a class of RCIA with Andrew and my sponsor Kelly that I had struggled to pay attention in and was lighting a candle for prayer for my struggles that were weighing me down. As I finished, Andrew waved me over to where he and Kelly were talking to one of Dominicans of St. Gertrude. He introduced himself as Brother John Paul and explained that he felt called by God to come into the building after his evening prayer and started making small talk with Kelly and Andrew and reveled that he had actually gone through RCIA only a few years ago. Andrew, Kelly, and I immediately realized that this must have been another one of those circumstances where God answers my questions and struggles in the exact way that I needed at that very moment. They both looked at me and I laughed and went “Yeah, I know… Well this is annoying…” Brother John Paul proceeded to share with me his testimony that struck me deeply of how he was a passionate non-Catholic Christian en-route to becoming a minister or sorts when he was introduced to Catholicism and it seemed to fill the parts of his life he felt were lacking. He spoke about his testing of Catholicism in RCIA and how he now felt unique in his vocation as a non-“cradle-Catholic”. In a lot of ways, Brother John Paul’s story was just a male version of my own. At this time I realized that this isn’t something anyone should do alone, rather this was something God wants people to do together.
I began asking even more questions that further challenged Catholicism, trusting that God was leading me towards something important. And I cannot deny that with nearly every question or issue I had with Catholicism, within about a week I would hear some kind of explanation that struck me in either a homily at mass, at RCIA, or in a discussion with friends. But it never stopped. It still happens to this day and cannot be a coincidence.This was something God wanted me to know about.
The most profound example of this was in the winter when I had been frustrated with and seriously struggling with a lot of Catholicism and was feeling very alone in my circumstances and beliefs. I had just completed a class of RCIA with Andrew and my sponsor Kelly that I had struggled to pay attention in and was lighting a candle for prayer for my struggles that were weighing me down. As I finished, Andrew waved me over to where he and Kelly were talking to one of Dominicans of St. Gertrude. He introduced himself as Brother John Paul and explained that he felt called by God to come into the building after his evening prayer and started making small talk with Kelly and Andrew and reveled that he had actually gone through RCIA only a few years ago. Andrew, Kelly, and I immediately realized that this must have been another one of those circumstances where God answers my questions and struggles in the exact way that I needed at that very moment. They both looked at me and I laughed and went “Yeah, I know… Well this is annoying…” Brother John Paul proceeded to share with me his testimony that struck me deeply of how he was a passionate non-Catholic Christian en-route to becoming a minister or sorts when he was introduced to Catholicism and it seemed to fill the parts of his life he felt were lacking. He spoke about his testing of Catholicism in RCIA and how he now felt unique in his vocation as a non-“cradle-Catholic”. In a lot of ways, Brother John Paul’s story was just a male version of my own. At this time I realized that this isn’t something anyone should do alone, rather this was something God wants people to do together.
Brother John Paul
Finally one stressful night in adoration, I was struggling to shake the worries of my life away to focus only on God and I prayed fervently to God asking Him to reveal to me what I was supposed to be doing. I felt lost and weighed down by the busyness of everything around me. Even though a great deal of the truth that Catholicism stood for was something that had become very important to me, I still struggled occasionally with the smells, bells, and overall feel of Catholic culture. I was looking around at the paintings inside Annunciation and was again overwhelmed by all the beauty of my surroundings. These things weren’t bad, but it was frustrating that I didn’t feel that comfortable and at home where I was. My soul churned in a way that made me feel as though there was something I just about to discover about myself at the tip of my tongue.
I felt compelled to close my eyes and close myself up until it was just God and myself. I waited for a few moments to clear my head when I realized that that was really what I needed more of- to clear my head and take what I have learned and figure out what Ipersonally believe. I opened my eyes and began to write down everything I believe about religion, myself, and how the two fit together. At the end of it, I found that most of what I had written was the same as the Nicene Creed and even further, my personal beliefs lined up with what the Catholic. I went home that night and stayed up late talking to Andrew about the possibility of getting Confirmed.
Then came the oddest moment in my journey of exploring Catholicism. There suddenly was a smile that grew across my face and I could not wipe it off. There was so much more that I wanted to confirm before I decided to get Confirmed. But God lead me to understand that you don’t have to understand everything perfectly to believe and that no such person exists. Rather, my desire to know Him is good and that all I have to do is look back upon the evidence he provided for me and those who helped me along the way. It was that moment that I announced I wanted to become Confirmed.
And that is what lead me to get Confirmed. To say yes. To become part of the people of the Eucharist. Peter Kreeft really spoke to me in his talk called “Socrates Meets Jesus” (link posted at the end) when he spoke about how “feelings are only the sugar on top”. I find that sometimes the most difficult part of searching for the most important truths in life is the feeling of the jumping off point. It doesn’t feel good to put yourself out there. But again, I think Kreeft found words that explain it perfectly: “One of the few things in life that cannot possibly do harm in the end is the honest pursuit of the truth.” It doesn’t always feel good, but truth most definitely outweighs the feeling. This is how I found myself to be Catholic.
I felt compelled to close my eyes and close myself up until it was just God and myself. I waited for a few moments to clear my head when I realized that that was really what I needed more of- to clear my head and take what I have learned and figure out what Ipersonally believe. I opened my eyes and began to write down everything I believe about religion, myself, and how the two fit together. At the end of it, I found that most of what I had written was the same as the Nicene Creed and even further, my personal beliefs lined up with what the Catholic. I went home that night and stayed up late talking to Andrew about the possibility of getting Confirmed.
Then came the oddest moment in my journey of exploring Catholicism. There suddenly was a smile that grew across my face and I could not wipe it off. There was so much more that I wanted to confirm before I decided to get Confirmed. But God lead me to understand that you don’t have to understand everything perfectly to believe and that no such person exists. Rather, my desire to know Him is good and that all I have to do is look back upon the evidence he provided for me and those who helped me along the way. It was that moment that I announced I wanted to become Confirmed.
And that is what lead me to get Confirmed. To say yes. To become part of the people of the Eucharist. Peter Kreeft really spoke to me in his talk called “Socrates Meets Jesus” (link posted at the end) when he spoke about how “feelings are only the sugar on top”. I find that sometimes the most difficult part of searching for the most important truths in life is the feeling of the jumping off point. It doesn’t feel good to put yourself out there. But again, I think Kreeft found words that explain it perfectly: “One of the few things in life that cannot possibly do harm in the end is the honest pursuit of the truth.” It doesn’t always feel good, but truth most definitely outweighs the feeling. This is how I found myself to be Catholic.
After being confirmed on Easter with my sponsor, Kelly, and Andrew
Written by:
Annie Elizabeth Therese Seiple
Annie Elizabeth Therese Seiple
